When School, Systems, And Safety Nets Fail A Neurodivergent Child nickies story part 3

Start with the truth too many families hide: when a child’s nervous system is on fire, the world reads smoke as misbehaviour. We open with a land acknowledgement and a commitment to a two‑eyed seeing lens, then walk through a mother’s unvarnished account of raising an autistic son who was first mislabeled, then excluded, and too often restrained instead of supported. From the first gut feelings in infancy—constant crying, early aggression, fierce rigidity—to the gauntlet of daycare expulsions and chaotic bus rides, the story shows how quickly home, work, and safety can unravel when systems chase compliance over care.

School becomes a rotating door of suspensions and blame, until relentless advocacy pries open an individualized classroom with a full‑time assistant. Even then, the approach centres on behaviour management rather than the drivers beneath it: anxiety, sensory overload, and profound dysregulation. A six‑month residential program promises structure but delivers seclusion rooms and sedatives, deepening trauma and eroding trust. Only years later does a formal diagnosis of autism with conduct disorder land—an explanation that arrives long after opportunities for earlier, gentler help. Along the way, medication trials stack up while caregiver insight about anxiety and depression is dismissed, highlighting how narrowly clinical pathways can operate.

This conversation doesn’t tidy its edges. Toileting stays unresolved, friendships remain rare, and the teen years magnify danger as bodies grow and empathy lags beyond the circle of home. Yet there are anchors: a caregiver named Mary who meets the child where he is and quietly reduces crises; a new career that rebuilds confidence and stability; a son whose empathy with family and animals hints at hard‑won growth. We name the real fixes: neuroaffirming classrooms, rapid diagnostic access, crisis teams trained for autism, trauma‑informed care, and respite that respects families. If you’ve ever felt trapped in the loop of mobile crisis, police, and “try a sticker chart,” this story will feel like someone finally saying it out loud.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one change you’d make to your local support system—what’s the first fix you’d fight for?

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Transcript

Land Acknowledgement & Mission

Keith "Polar Bear" Gelhorn 0:01

Welcome to the Big Bears Podcast, co-hosted by Chad Grizzly Bear Bunker, and Polar Bear Galhorn. We would like to acknowledge that we are in Mi'kmaq, the ancestral and unceded territory of the Mi'kmaq people. The people of the Mi'kmaq Nation have lived on this territory for millennia. We acknowledge them as past, present, and future caretakers of this land. Our mission is to explore the intersection of neurodiversity through a two-wide sea lens, where we share stories of struggle, resilience, writ, and growth. We would appreciate it if you could listen, subscribe, engage, and share this podcast.

Early Red Flags In Infancy

Keith "Polar Bear" Gelhorn 0:50

Now on to today's episode.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

Okay, so I am living in Dartmouth. I have an infant. And Isaac is, or Ben is um 12-ish. And I'm trying to, you know, reestablish my relationship with Devin at that time, which I did, which I'm thankful for. So Isaac's an infant, and I'm working full-time. And immediately I knew something wasn't right with Isaac. He cried a lot, and he would like try to grab my eye, like pick at my eyes, and pull my hair. And even before he could walk, he he was really aggressive. And my and my other two kids weren't like that. So I I kind of knew there was something up. And as an infant, he went to babysitters, like people in their home. So nobody else really brought it up at that time. But um at about 18 months, I put him in a daycare in I put him in a daycare in Highfield Park. And I was having a lot of problems at that, like already, like the meltdowns, and I couldn't toilet train him. He wouldn't. I mean, at 18 months, kids don't listen really well as uh generally, but he just it he just didn't want to comply with anything. Even if it was, even if it was something that he would gain something positive from. Um if it came from somebody else, then no. You know, no. Like go play on the, you know, do you wanna, you know, do you want to go play in the park? No. But like if if it was his idea, then let's it was let's go play in the park now, right? So yeah, and he was he he was late walking, and uh I couldn't train, I couldn't, uh I was having a hard time toilet training him, and and the meltdowns were constant.

Daycare Rejections And Crisis At Home

SPEAKER_04 3:24

So I I put him in daycare, and it wasn't even a day, and they called me and said, Come get your kid. And so I went and got him, and the director at the daycare said, There's there's something wrong with your child. And I and I like wanted to fight her. You know, how dare you say something's wrong with my kid, even though I kind of already knew it, but like, how dare you? So there was a about, you know, four maybe four daycares like consecutively that I would take him, kicked out, take him, kicked out, take him, kicked out. And it it wasn't that he was aggressive and violent towards other kids, he was aggressive and violent towards the the work, like the workers, and there were and they just had no tolerance for it. Plus, he wouldn't use the bathroom on the toilet. So it was it was like it was stressful. So and and I would take him uh to a new daycare and hope and pray, and it would just wouldn't work. So this went on for a little while, and uh, so then I went back to like people that took care of kids in their homes. And I was using all my vacation and sick time to go to leave work to get Isaac. I was working at Dow House, he had the time, and and then people would just quit. Like they would some would just not answer their door the next day.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

And every day was with him, was it was just so unpredictable. Like there wasn't a moment of of peace. He was always upset, always upset, and and so defiant, like so defiant. And he was really obsessed with uh stuff that other people would like see as garbage, like if we went out for a walk, he would come home with the weirdest stuff, like hubcaps, you know, or or uh like just rare uh bottle caps, like just random stuff. And and you couldn't tell him otherwise, like he was having it, and that was it. So I knew something wasn't right, and I was, you know, I was getting smacked and hit and like constant. It was constant. It was constant. So I got his doctor to refer him to a pediatrician because they immediately just labeled him with ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

And so we went to a pediatrician and she put him on, I don't know, some kind of

Developmental Preschool And Denial

SPEAKER_04 6:35

medication. I don't remember what now. Because and it was gonna solve all of his problems. He was, you know, gonna be transformed. No. So and I was going through daycares, left, right, and center, and it and I finally got him into there's a developmental preschool over on Charles Street. No, well, over I am in Halifax, so I was in Dartmouth at the time, but it's down on Charles Street, and so they all of the kids had special needs, all of them. And at that time, I still hadn't I still didn't realize that he had autism, even though the sign I look back now, the signs are glaringly obvious. Um so I got him into that developmental preschool, and they they I ended up keeping him there for like an extra year. Like he was supposed to start school, but I was afraid he would go to school and run away because he was a runner. So we took the bus. I was single mom and Tom, didn't have a car, and we took the bus every day, and he would run from me. Like we be we would be at the bus stop. It was before the new bus stop or like the bus terminal, and it was just those, you know, those shelters, yeah, and with packed full of people, and he would take off on me and run into run in front of buses and run out in the street, and and people would give me advice and I would scream at them and uh and on the bus, oh yeah, on the bus, he hated the bus. The minute we got on the bus, I don't know if if it was, I don't know what it was about the bus, but the minute he got on the bus, he would start screaming and clawing at my eyes, and like this went on every day. Jeez, every single day. So, you know, while he was in this preschool. Now, thankfully, the preschool did not kick him out, and but they you know told me every other day, I think your child has autism, and I of course would not listen. So finally he was gonna start school, and I knew that we needed help. Like I knew that we needed help. I knew I was terrified about him going to school, what was gonna happen, and I was not wrong. Like then I was not wrong. So so then we had I I wanted him to get some sort of like serious, like people somebody that actually knew what they were talking about, like a psychiatrist or whatever, to to uh you know, see him and diagnose him or whatever. And I mean it took it took it took at least two years. At least at least two years I waited. And they would like I would meet with like social workers

Bus Meltdowns And Safety Fears

SPEAKER_04 9:35

and tell them what was going on, and they would call like child protection because like there were times when I like had to sit on the child. I like I had to literally sit on him because I had no choice, right? I got hit in the head with a bat. I mean, he was just a little boy. I mean, he was just a little blonde-headed, you know, angel-looking like little boy with chubby cheeks, right? And he was so violent. And and and you know, people would say, Well, you need to discipline him, and you need to do this and you need to do that, and like, you just do not understand.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

You just don't understand.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

So, uh, so finally I got him into the IWK, and and of course, he was get he got old, he he started growing, getting older. School was a nightmare, they called me every other day, and then I'm like, finally, I'm like, this kid needs an education. If he's suspended all the time, he's not gonna get an education. No, so you people need to do something, and nothing happened, and they kept calling me, nothing happened, and they kept calling me. So finally, I'm like, okay, enough is enough is enough. I emailed everyone. I emailed the Minister of Education, I emailed every address to the school board and the Department of Education that I could find. I emailed every person, like I it was just like a mass email, like something's gotta be done. Or because my kids isn't gonna be educated. And I'm not a teacher, so and he's not gonna listen to me anyway, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Nope.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

So and that was just that was grade, like grade, grade, I want to say grade one, because grade primary was like just it was a nightmare. And and it would and it was just constant crying and a constant, um, and and I, you know, struggled to find people to take care of him because he was suspended so much, because I couldn't send him to school when I worked, and I would sometimes take him to work with me. Um and I would and I was and he needed care after school, and I was just basically I forget what the pupp look oh Khajiji. So I was basically on Khajiji constantly looking for babysitters because I was just I don't know how many I had. And like some of them I would have to take a bus like halfway across the wrong direction, and you know, and so I could work, right? And and I really thought that I was gonna end up on well welfare. I thought I was gonna end up on social assistance because I wouldn't be able to keep a job. Um so anyway, I had this meeting with the department, like there was a whole bunch of people there. So they Isaac actually had his own classroom. Nice from like starting in grade, I want to say grade two. And he had an EPA full-time, like an assistant. And I don't want to say school got better because it didn't, but at least he was there more because he didn't have because like a lot of it was he couldn't, he couldn't like being in a classroom with other kids triggered him. And I mean they would have to like empty the classroom because Isaac's thrown desks, tossing desks, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:12

So what did you learn in school today? Yeah, take a desk to the head.

SPEAKER_04 13:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And uh these EPAs, like I I only recall one that refused to work with him. I like they really don't get paid enough.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

No. Like it's a lot to work with, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

And and I mean, especially like like a and and Isaac's always been been big, right? He's like a big his legs are like tree trunks, right? So get kicked, you get kicked with a tree trunk, it hurts, you know. So he did get his own class, and you know, he had fish tanks and plants, and and his he was uh on a on a on an EPA, and but he really still didn't have a diagnosis. So, and and uh I

School Suspensions And System Runaround

SPEAKER_04 14:05

was blamed for a lot of it, you know, for not disciplining him and not sticking to boundaries. He he he uh I I'm not gonna say because it would embarrass him. So anyway, toilet toileting never got resolved, never to this day, never got resolved. It just was an ongoing nightmare. It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. And obviously for him too. If I mean, obviously he wasn't happy. How could he happy and upset all the time, right? Nope, like it wasn't like he did it for entertainment, right? So at the time, the IWK, and this was grade three, the IWK had a program called Compass, it's called something else now, and it was basically like they go, the kid goes and stays there for six months and they go to school there, and so while I'm sure it would help an average kid, maybe with behavior problems or you know, just defiant or whatever, but a kid with autism, no, it did nothing but traumatize him. And I look back now, I wish I had never done it. But at the time, I was didn't, I I didn't know what to do. Like I I didn't know it was like the only option. So he did compass and nothing really changed. It it really actually made things worse. Um you know, they did like like sticker charts and and and you know uh they still were convinced that you know it was nothing more than ADHD. Not you know, not that I'm minimizing ADHD, but he has bigger problems, right? And when he would have fits, they had like a timeout room where they would put this lock this kid in like a rubber room, basically. And yeah, and if they didn't calm down, they would just shoot them in the butt with La Razapan. And I mean, this is just not not not even 20, well, not yet, not even 20 years ago. So this isn't like something that was going on in the 60s when they didn't know better, right? Right, and it really traumatized him. And he doesn't talk about it now, he's kind of stopped, but Isaac has like really like an emotional memory, and he can really take him back his self, his head back, and like any he doesn't forget, and he can kind of like take himself back there emotionally. And I mean, he talked about compass for I don't know how long, but he hasn't brought it up in a very, very long time, thankfully. But yeah, it really had an impact on him and not in a good way. And I would go visit him every night because it was just over here, actually, where where it was located. And I worked at Dallas, so I just walked down after uh every night after work and had supper with him. Nice, and they really watched me, and you know, always had lists of things that I was doing wrong, and blah dah da. Right, and it was really life-sucking. Um, it really truly was, and absolutely not what Isaac needed at all. And the program is it's not compass anymore. There's I don't know, I don't, it's entirely different now, but it really, it really was like sad for and and like that that's all there was available. So like the extent of care that he actually did need wasn't available, like it's just not available, and it probably still isn't. It probably still isn't. So it was after Compass that we finally got a good a dot an actual diagnosis, and he what he his actual diagnosis is autism and conduct disorder. So he's like, it's like conduct disorder is a like a personality disorder. So like a sociopath basically. Yeah, and he does

Securing An Individualized Classroom

SPEAKER_04 18:15

like now that he's older, he does have empathy for the people like me and the animals, and uh but like anybody else he could care less. Like he really does not care. He d just doesn't have empathy at all. But like for me and I and and the empathy that he has for me now, it it took a long time for it to and I think that's maturity, like I think it's just when he, you know, when he so yeah, so he was so violent. You know, I've had knives, been chased with knives, I've had to run out of the house, call a 911, and oh, and the like the system is so messed up. So you're getting beat up by your 10-year-old son or eight-year-old son or whatever. You call mobile crisis, okay? You might get an answer, you might not. So you call mobile crisis. Mobile crisis tells you to call the police. So you call the police. The police come and then they tell you to call, like take him to the doctor, which you are obviously already doing. So you go back to the doctor and it's tell the whole story all over again, who then gives you the number for mobile crisis.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

Holy.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

And you know, and you do this circle. I mean, uh you just do it over and over. And see, you get, you know, I don't know how many times, I don't know what it's called, child protection. I don't know what they call it in Canada, but like CPS, I guess is what they call it in the States. But you know, like social services, they get called, and I mean, they're not they're not looking out for you, they're looking out for the kid. They don't care that the kid is pounding the crap out of you. No, they're just all they care about is that you're not hurting the child. And while I never physically abused Isaac in any way, shape, or form, there were times when I did have to like sit on him, or then there were times when I had to push him off me. And there were times when I had no choice, right? Like uh so you're constantly explaining your story, you're constantly like telling the same story over and over and over and over and over. And they just sit and stare at you because they don't know, they don't have a clue, they don't live it. They don't, they don't live it.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Here's a pill.

SPEAKER_04 20:50

Yes, pills, and you and you got these professionals telling you, try a sticker chart. Do you know how many sticker charts we've had? You know, you need to not let them play video games. Uh what like what do you want me to do? Take him, you know, and then you take him, you you know, you put him in taekwondo, and then he has a fit at Taekwondo, and you just want the floor to open up and suck you in. And he's asked and off come back, right?

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Oh geez.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

And like, and I tried everything. We did skating, we did swimming lessons, we did, I put him in a sports camp in the summer, and he lasted a couple days and then proceeded to talk about this other kid that he had an issue with for 10 more years, right? Um, I did the Boys and Girls Club. I did, I put him in a rec with like rec with HRM.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:48

And he, oh, he'll have his, he'll have his own person working with him all day. It'll be great, they told me. Well, the guy was like 20, like a student.

SPEAKER_03 21:59

And

SPEAKER_04 22:00

Isaac kicked him in the shins and come get your kid.

The Compass Program And Trauma

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Really didn't like him.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

Like so school, school never really got better. Like there he did half days for a while. And it I mean it never got perfect, even to the end. I mean, even to the end. And he hated it. Like he didn't like the kids. And the kids didn't want anything to do with him because he's so unusual. Like he's he's really different. And in elementary school, they saw him uh freaking out and tearing bathroom door stalls off. And you know, like they were scared of him, right? He didn't get bullied for his weirdness because people were scared of him.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Pretty sure he would have hurt them.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

So uh and I really tried. I tried, I like he needs more activities, he needs this, he needs that, and everything was just a flop. And and he would run away, like that went on, like he would just run, he would just bolt. And so we saw we saw Dr. Orlick at the IWK, and he's like the the autism specialist, he's a psychiatrist. And we went to him for I don't know how long years, and the say every appointment was the same, and all they focused on was his behavior, like they didn't focus on the symptoms. They I I said I don't know how many times he needs anti-exotic, like they were giving him like the antipsychotics like abilify and respiredone and for his behavior. Did they work? I don't know, maybe maybe he would have killed me by now if he hadn't been on those drugs. I don't know. Um, but nobody was really listening to what I had to say. Like I, you know, I knew he had I knew he had was had anxiety, and I knew that he had depression. And he's too young for anxiety and depression. No, you don't have to be an adult to have anxiety and depression. Trust me, I know. So, and so we went through a fora of medications, none of which were ones that I recommended, because I didn't know anything about, you know, anxiety and depression. And so he became a teenager, and this is, you know, he I think he was eight-ish. I think he was eight when me and your dad got back together.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Okay, yeah, he's already around eight eight years old.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

Yeah, he was like around eight. And I mean, your dad saw some crazy things, and he and he tried to intervene, but you know, Isaac's, you know, he could he can only, I mean, he can and he didn't want Isaac to hate him. And and you know, you can only do so much, right? But it was a crazy time.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Like they did form a good relationship though over time.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

They yeah, they they do oh yeah, they do have a good relationship. They always did, yeah. Yeah, they always did. But it was Rocky Start note. Your dad, you know, he likes to call people by different names, right? Yeah, he kept, he would always call him George, and Isaac hated it. Oh, he hated it. Don't call me George, and then of course I would get upset. Like, can you please? Like, just don't call him that. Just don't do it. And I'm just joking.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Well, my dad doesn't know how to take serious things seriously.

SPEAKER_04 25:45

Yeah, yeah. Um he doesn't do it now, thankfully.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

But um, that's a good thing then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:52

Uh so in the meantime, I was working at Dalhousie that same year, 2012. And I went to work one day and I didn't have a job anymore. So it was hard. I uh I thought the world was gonna end. Because like I thought, while I like I I wouldn't really what didn't really know my potential. And it was a good job, but it was not my potential. But I thought I would be there forever. I thought I would retire there, and I was, I had because I'm insane, had started to do a taking a master's because Dal would pay for it because I worked there, right? So I was taking taking courses and and I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. So I really thought my life was over. Like I really thought that my life was over, and so I I started working with my friend doing bookkeeping, and I'm not a bookkeeper, and the owner of the company was a nightmare, and

Finally Getting An Autism Diagnosis

SPEAKER_04 27:10

I really hated it. Like when my phone would ring and I'd see her name, I would just want to cry. So I didn't do that for very long. But then I found out that if you're on employment insurance, that if you did certain things and took went to certain courses and stuff through work. See, I should know the names that people listening will know what I'm talking about. I want to say it's called Works or Skills Nova Scotia or Works Nova Scotia. Anyway, anyway, I had to go to like these job centers and take like resume writing courses, like it was required.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

And like because I wanted them to fund me to go back to school. Because, okay, so I in the 90s I took a degree at Mount Vincent, actually two degrees at Mount St. Vincent. I got a degree in business and a degree in IT. And I worked as a programmer and I worked at Dalhousie. I was like a data, I wasn't like a database, I was a database administrator. I was actually a manager of some people, which I sucked at. I'm not a manager, I never want to be one again ever. But um, and that's some of the reason why I lost my job because I was friends with my staff. Uh and yeah, it was people didn't like it. Like, like my it just wasn't good. So without getting all into it. And I was that I still smoked then, and that pissed people off because I would go smoke and drink a little bit. No, after Isaac, I didn't, I still smoked weed. Okay, but no, I haven't drank the last time I was drunk. I mean I've had a drink, but the last time I was drunk, I want to say I uh oh I did go to an ACDC concert with my biological mom, but that was and got drunk, and that but that was like two, that was like 2006-ish.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

So it's been a long time. Yeah, I I was never like a pleasant drunk. And like I always got in fights, I could tell you some stories. I I left those out. They were they were for my digby days. Yeah, I got in some fights, and I just wasn't a nice person. And I would do and say things that I would regret like all the time.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

So we're good at that one, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

And I and I always got sick. I always threw out. Always threw out. So it was yeah, uh drugs were definitely my preference. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

Isaac finished high school.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

Okay, so yeah, back to Isaac. So um, so I I ended up going to Eastern College and taking supply chain and logistics. So that would have been 2013 and 14

Violence, Mobile Crisis, And Police Loops

SPEAKER_04 30:15

is when I did that. And things were okay. So in the meantime, with Isaac, I had met Mary. Okay, and Mary literally saved us with the daycare situation.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 30:29

She was so I don't know what kind of magic she had, but he just never acted up for her. He just, I mean, there were there were a few times. Well, she tried to take in other kids, yeah, and that was a problem. But she really she picked him up at school, and then I would pick him up. Like she, and then in the summer she had him all day. And so she took took care of him when I was in east going to Eastern College, because like I went all morning and then like I just went in the morning and then or no, I just went in the afternoon. So she would pick him up at school, and yeah, and she just was really good with him. And like if the school, if there was an issue at school and he had to go home, she would go get him, and like it really made like there was no more of this. Come get your kid, come get your kid, right? It really took it, really, she she I like I love her. She I still love her, but she really, really helped me out with him. But in the meantime, he's so I got a job at uh I went and did a work term at IMP, which is an aerospace company. And I did drink. And then from there, I worked there a couple years, and a lady that I worked with there got a job at L3, where I am now, and took me with her, and I've been there ever since. So I've been there nine, it'll be nine years in May. Nice, yeah, and it's a really good job. And like I said, like I thought that Dow was like the best that I was ever gonna do, and so not true. The job that I have now, I it's a lot more busier and a lot more stressful and a lot more demanding, but I love it, and I get paid way more, and and they will actually pay for university courses if I wanted to do such a thing, which I do not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Um how many how much education do you have now that you've collected over the years of doing?

SPEAKER_04 32:52

Okay, so I have my grade 12. I have cooking, the cooking certificate that I really never did anything with.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Your dad cooks for her now.

SPEAKER_04 33:01

And I can't and I still I hate cooking. He does cook for me, but I do everything else.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:07

Does he clean the toilet? No. If I stop cleaning the toilet, would the toilet get cleaned? No. I do everything else, literally everything else. What was I saying?

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Your education.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

Oh, yeah. I have a I have a high school cooking certificate. I took a I took a child psychology certificate through one of those like online correspondence schools. I have a degree in information technology. I have a degree in business administration, I have a diploma in supply chain and logistics. I have a certification, it's called CIFA Certified International Freight Border, which was hard. And then I took courses at Dow and I took courses through Athabasca because a couple years ago I decided I was gonna get a sociology degree. And I worked at it for a while, and then I got a dog, and well, you know where that went. You know where the sociology degree went, because I'm now a lot of my time is consumed by my dog. So, okay, so let's go back to Isaac. So Isaac became a teenager, and the stuff that came out of his mouth, like and you know, and he was violent, but I mean, so violent. I was I I felt

Medication Focus Vs. Unmet Needs

SPEAKER_04 34:40

like I felt like an abused spouse, but had no way out. No way out. And I mean, and people said, well, you know, you know, you could just turn him over to social services. And what? And and what would that do for him?

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Yeah, then he'd just have a even harder time.

SPEAKER_04 34:59

He'd have rejec uh he think he'd be totally messed up, he wouldn't have a chance.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_04 35:06

So it was just hell. It was hell. And I every day, like some days driving home from work, I would think about running the car and do a tree. You know, or going the opposite way and not coming back. And it wasn't that I that I I didn't love my son, because I do and did love my son more than anything. It was that I was in hell. And I never knew what was gonna happen. I never knew what was, I just never knew what was gonna happen. I never knew I never knew. Every day it was there was something. And the cops would come, the neighbors would complain, people would call child protection over and over again, and I'd have to tell the story over and over again. And I'm like, with the IWK in the school and what and the cops, like, he needs help. He needs to be in an institution where they can teach him how to regulate his emotions and live his life. And there's just not, there just isn't, it just doesn't exist.

Keith "Polar Bear" Gelhorn 36:15

Thank you for listening to the Big Bears Podcast, a two-eyed C approach to neurodiversity. We would appreciate it if you could listen, subscribe, engage, and share this podcast. Tune in every second Tuesday at 7 a.m. Atlantic time for a new episode.